Shifting at Any Age: A Lesson in the Power and Grace of Letting Go

Hello friends, here’s my latest funding news and grant opportunities list at Big Mama’s Playbook! Now this week’s post, it’s about: “shifting”. It’s Taurus season and my birthday month! Last year around this time, I wrote about my bewilderment and trepidations on becoming a septuagenarian – I was turning 70. Now, as I prepare to celebrate the entry to my 71st trip around the sun, I find myself reflecting deeply on the word “shifting”. Several years ago, I came across a quote that felt like it was written for moment

s like this in life. Sometimes when I am working with my coaching clients, I’ll share it when they recognize signs of growth in their own personal and/or professional development. It reads:“As you are shifting, you will begin to realize that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are situations that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus.”

And now at 71, I can tell you that shifting isn’t just about getting older…it’s about getting wiser. It’s about growing into the truth, your truth, of who you are; unlearning what no longer serves you, unlearning those unhealthy behaviors. You’re finally standing in the full power of your voice, even if that voice sometimes chooses silence. Remember: Silence is deafening.I think about all the things I once tolerated. Things I stayed quiet about for the sake of peace, or to not rock the boat. Things I used to excuse, overlook, or swallow to be “polite,” or “strong,” “professional,” not perceived as that “angry” Black woman. But now? Well now, as a recovering “people-pleaser” those same things feel heavy on my spirit. What I used to endure, I now reject - not out of bitterness, but because I’ve finally learned that peace is a form of power.

There was a time I thought strength meant arguing or defending my point until the other person finally understood. In my earlier years, I thought leadership meant carrying it all. Being present or being “on” for everybody. It was frustrating and exhausting. But the older I get, the more I realize that real strength sometimes looks like saying, “No, not today.”  Real wisdom knows when to speak and when to simply breathe. These days, silence is often my loudest response. I’ve learned not everything deserves my energy. I’m still working on that one. After all, I am a Taurus.

That doesn’t mean I’ve lost my fire; it means I’ve become wise about who, where, and what I place my energy and time. Shifting at this stage of life means embracing a slower, steadier rhythm. It means choosing presence over performance. I’ve grown more intentional with my time and more tender with myself. I no longer chase validation or spend time explaining my worth. I am worthy…my lived experience, my scars, my stories, and the wisdom I've earned say so. I feel like I am shedding layers (and hopefully a few pounds) that no longer fit. I’ve let go of the need to explain or impress; deciding, as the saying goes: is the juice worth the squeeze?

Shifting is also about letting go. Letting go of the need to be everything to everyone. Letting go of those wornout roles, tired old narratives, and outdated expectations - especially those we place on ourselves, and ones that other people place on us. I’ve found freedom in saying no; in creating (and adhering to) boundaries, and in honoring the space I need to just be.  Perhaps the most beautiful part of this shift is the clarity that comes with it. I see more clearly the people and places that feed my soul and spirit, as well as those that drain it. I no longer feel guilty for choosing myself. I’ve earned the right, at 71, to protect my peace unapologetically. And not every invitation requires my attendance. I love my peace and treasure it.

This shift hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes it meant walking away. Sometimes it meant sitting in uncomfortable truths about what I allowed, what I ignored, or what I accepted in the name of love or loyalty. But I bless every part of the journey. Because it brought me here. It brought me to a place where I know myself better; trust myself more than I used to, and value myself in ways I never did before. Shifting isn’t just about leaving something behind. It’s about stepping into the life you were always meant to live.

This year, I won’t be wishing for anything more than what I already have: a sound mind, the wisdom to know when to speak, the discernment to know when to be still, and the courage to keep shifting into the best version of myself – it’s just maybe a little bit slower. I’m not done shifting. I believe we keep evolving until our last breath. But I know now that the shift isn’t something to fear…it’s something to celebrate. It means I’m still growing. Still listening. Still becoming. Here’s to the shift.  Here’s to 71. 

And here’s to all of us learning that every year is an invitation to grow - not just older, but deeper and wiser; that introspection, getting clearer, and more grounded in YOUR truth.

Finally, if you’re reading this, how are you shifting? I’d love to hear from you. And if you want, feel free reach out to me at Lead Like Big Mama. That’s the kind of work I still live for.

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“What you endure is who you are. I can't change the past. But I can certainly help somebody else in the future, so they don't have to go through what I did..”

-    Patsy Matsu Takemoto Mink (1927 – 2002)