Lead Like Big Mama: Choose Soul Over Spotlight

Hello, Lead Like Big Mama friends, my recent Big Mama’s Playbook is here where you can find many new grant opportunities! Now on to this week’s post… The political dissention in the fight for social justice around the country (and really around the globe) is palpable. Let me start with this: whether it’s from our leaders or even those we’d call unassuming leaders. You can’t lead people right if you’ve lost

yourself chasing titles, influence, and applause. Leadership, real leadership - the emotionally mature kind, strives to leave a legacy; not just a LinkedIn trail or based on the number of headlines, followers or clicks, but a legacy that is rooted in values. And when your quest for power starts pushing against those values, that’s when it’s time to take a pause – it’s time for some soul-searching and decide who you really are.

Your reputation and your credibility matter.

A judge presiding over one of several high-profiled Federal mass deportation cases

recently cautioned a Department of Justice lawyer with some advice from the bench of the

courtroom that resonated with me. He declared that it’s a lesson shared with his law clerks -

that their most valuable assets are their reputation and their credibility. “I would just ask you

to make sure that your team maintains that lesson,” he went on to say to the government’s

attorney. No truer words. Core values like honesty, integrity, service, trust, making a

difference – they matter.

I’ve watched folks – public figures, former colleagues, personal friends & family alike,

climb ladders so fast (or as my late mother would say, trying to become a “big shot”)- they

forgot to look down and check who they were stepping on or over along the way. I’ve seen

“leaders” silence their conscience to keep their seat at the table or to make more money, or

both. And yes, I’ve even had to sit with my own hard choices too. But I’ll tell you what I always come back to - your soul can’t rest easy when your spirit knows you sold out. And a reminder: all money ain’t good money…And as a social worker, my code of ethics to the profession is front and center. I rest easy at night.

The quest for power and influence will flirt with you. It’ll whisper sweet promises - bigger

budgets, fancy titles, front-row seats at the decision-making table and sporting events. But if

you’re not careful, that same power will have you co-signing on to foolishness, keeping quiet

when harm is being done, and turning a blind eye because “you don’t want to rock the boat.” Well, some boats need rocking. Some need to be “decommissioned” and just abandoned.

When your leadership role begins to require you to be silent where you once spoke truth…

when you’re told to sit still when you’ve always stood for justice… when influence means

fitting in instead of standing out – those are some cues. That’s the moment when you need to go somewhere for reflection, check in with your spirit, and ask: Is this who I came here to be? You’ve got to decide: is your leadership about service, or about status? Are you lifting people up, or just trying to be seen at the top - just trying to become a “big shot”?

Sometimes the most powerful move you can make is walking away from something that

no longer aligns with who you are. That’s not weakness, that’s wisdom. That’s strength. That’s

leadership with integrity. And if you’ve been paying any attention to the turmoil in

Washington DC, there are several examples of career government officials walking away,

some with decades of knowledge and experience just walking out the door when faced with

this choice – to choose soul over spotlight or a title. Now don’t get me wrong. Influence can be a good thing. But influence without values? Real leaders - emotionally mature leaders, shine from within because their core values, at the end of the day, light the way – the non-

negotiable principles that they choose to live by.

Value Your Soul.

Next time you're choosing between power and principle, when they begin to collide,

remember this: choose the path that lets you sleep at night. Power can be taken. Titles can

change. But your values? That’s your name. That’s your legacy. To “value your soul” means to

honor the deepest, truest part of yourself- your inner wisdom, integrity, and purpose. It means protecting your spirit from what distorts it. That’s what the children & families we serve – what your neighbors and your community will remember long after the applause fades. And finally, like the judge, me end with some words of wisdom from this Big Mama. Don’t just climb. Build. Don’t just influence. Lift others. Inspire. And never, ever sell your soul to sit at a table you wouldn’t want our children or grandchildren to eat from. Now go on out there, continue to rock some boats, don’t sell your soul and lead right – lead like Big Mama!

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“Every organization should tolerate rebels who tells the emperor he has no clothes.”

- Colin Powell (1937 – 2021)

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