A Timeless Truth: Sweep Around Your Own Front Door

Hello friends, it’s a new fiscal year for many funders! Find my latest funding news and several NEW grants at Big Mama’s Playbook! Here’s this week’s message: Revisiting that quiet truth many of us don’t like to admit - that it’s typically much easier to clean up somebody else’s house than to deal with the mess in our own. Not just literally, but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We’re often quick to point out the “clutter” in someone else’s life — some decisions they made or should make, the habits they need to change, the generational traumas, or pain they haven’t processed/healed. But when it comes to our own inner house? Well, we try to close that door, draw the curtains, and outwardly pretend it’s all under control.

There’s this old saying, “Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine.” That’s not just a call to mind your business. That pearl of wisdom is also a reminder that introspection is the root of authenticity. When you’ve done your own inner work, you become more compassionate, more grounded, and more trustworthy. You can help others without judgment or superiority, because you know what it feels like to wrestle with your own demons and messiness. That’s one of the outward signs of your growth.

Introspection doesn’t work from the outside in. It demands that we sit in our own discomfort, our own clutter, our own stuff (sh**) long enough to understand it. “They ain’t learned yet….” that’s what my mom used to say! Introspective questions like: why do I react that way? What am I avoiding? Who hurt me that I never forgave? What patterns am I repeating? When you start paying attention to the stuff you didn’t see it before, and now that you know it’s there, you can’t ignore it. What corrective steps can you take to heal some of these imbalances?

Introspection is a deep, honest look inside ourselves. It is some of the hardest work we’ll ever do. It requires humility, vulnerability, and courage. It’s complicated, deeply personal and private work. And it is necessary, if you want to grow. Cleaning someone else’s house - focusing on their clutter can be an easy way to avoid dealing with our own. It feels productive, even noble sometimes. Some folks get caught up in noble gestures to feel better about themselves. What looks like helping is really just hiding – it’s a distraction.

Introspection is different. That’s when we stop pointing fingers, judging others, or boasting about our latest, most noble feat and start taking a real look in a mirror. That mirror doesn’t lie. It shows the unresolved grief. The pride. That envy we mask. It’s not always pretty, That’s why so many of us would rather be the noble “helpers” rather than healers - especially when the healing starts with ourselves. Think about it: how often do we use helping others as a way to avoid dealing with our own stuff? You can’t fix what you’re not willing to face. This tidbit of truth I often shared with my social work students. Actually, it’s advice for anyone going into the helping professions: helping other people heal! We’ll help folks fix their relationships, rewrite their resumes, guide them through their uncluttering. Meanwhile, our own cluttered closets are spilling over. Again, it’s easier to dwell in someone else’s business than be still in our own.

As leaders, taking time for introspection isn’t just helpful, it is essential. When leaders are brave enough to pause, reflect, and wrestle with their own truths, they can show up with greater authenticity, wisdom, and empathy. Introspection is the subtle force behind leadership; it shapes how we respond in a crisis or to changing times, how we build relationships, and how we make decisions. True leadership begins with clarity within ourselves, taking time to examine our beliefs, behaviors, and those pesky blind spots. Learn to lead from a place of integrity rather than control over others. If we want to lead people well - whether in families, communities, or organizations, we must be willing to lead ourselves through the inner work that introspection demands. And it’s not a one-time event. Believe me, it’s a lifelong practice.

Yes, it’s always easier to clean someone else’s house. But the real growth - the real, true transformation - happens when you turn inward and start clearing space to declutter your soul. What mess have you been stepping over in your own life? Introspection doesn’t mean sitting around beating yourself up. It means sitting with yourself long enough to just simply notice: Honestly, ask yourself/think about:

·       What old wounds or patterns keep showing up in my life/relationships?

·       Where am I pretending to be okay?

·       What parts of me have I neglected, forgotten, or silenced?

·       Who do I need to forgive - including myself?

These are not quick fixes or easy answers. But they’re yours to fix. And when you get real about your own inner mess, when you “own YOUR stuff” - something shifts. There is such deep value in knowing yourself.

Thanks for reading! I trust that someone needed this reminder today…

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place”

-       Eckhart Tolle (February 16, 1948 -)