It’s Common Sense, Right? Common to Who?

Hello friends, here’s my latest funding news and grant opportunities list at Big Mama’s Playbook! In my last post, I wrote about turning 71 this month and shifting. Well, I still find myself reflecting on my life and lessons learned over seven decades of living, leading, listening, or just watching folks “waltz” through life. This week’s post, it’s about: “common sense”. Here’s another bit of honest truth: Common sense is often the least of all the senses. 

When we talk about having “common sense,” we like to assume that common sense is just basic judgment that everybody’s born with. Sound judgment that most people should have. But one must realize, what’s “common” to you, might be completely foreign to someone else. Common sense is shaped by our upbringing, lived experiences, education, community, and let’s be real, it depends on whether or not we’ve been humbled enough by life to actually learn from it. It’s different for everybody - even if you grew up in the same household!

In leadership, assuming that it’s “common sense” is dangerous. You expect someone to speak up when something’s wrong, but they stay silent because they were taught not to challenge authority. You expect people to clean up after themselves, but they weren’t raised that way. You expect someone to know how to handle a conflict, but all they know is avoidance or blame. How about this quote from former NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, aka T.O., “If you align expectations with reality, you will never be disappointed.” Makes you pause. Most wise leaders, those who strive to Lead Like Big Mama, learn that you don’t assume anything. We try to teach, we guide, we model. We don’t shame people for what they didn’t know; we show them how to do better. Common sense just ain’t so common and Google can’t teach it. We have to stop relying on “common sense” as some sort of a standard.

Now let’s talk about another sense, book sense. There’s a difference. Too often, people confuse experience with wisdom and common sense with intelligence. Book sense is what you learn from school, training, certifications, degrees. It’s knowledge you can quote, test on, and show off in your bio or LinkedIn profile. But book sense without common sense is like having a GPS, or using a map, but no sense of direction. I’ve met folks with all the credentials in the world who couldn’t “read” a room; and young people who could sense fakeness and dishonesty from a mile away. Book sense can teach you how to write a mission statement or develop a five-year plan. But it can’t always tell you when to keep your mouth shut, when to listen, or how to navigate people’s feelings. That’s where common sense steps in - or should. Common sense isn’t about age or achievement - it’s about observation, humility, and the ability to connect the dots. My mom would proclaim that some people who lack these traits have all kinds of degrees, but not a lick of sense!

I’ve heard stories about or personally witnessed too many times: people relying on titles, data, and logic without checking for traits like emotional intelligence, practical wisdom, or plain old situational awareness or critical thinking skills. What makes sense to you may not even register for somebody else and that disconnect can cause some serious problems on so many levels. We assume folks will just “get it” or because their a certain age, should “know better,” and when things fall apart, we wonder why/what happened…we’re left shocked!

What I’ve learned is this: if you don’t repeatedly teach, model, and clarify what’s expected, how can you expect it to be common? It’s just not. For example, book sense can help you write a brilliant grant proposal on paper, but common sense is what tells you when to toss that proposal out the window because it just doesn’t fit the situation in front of you: it doesn’t fit the organization, the people/community, your ethics, the timing, etc. In other words, book sense gives you tools. Common sense tells you when and how to use them. And wise leaders learn and know the power of blending both. My counsel is this…we’ve got to move past assuming common sense is automatic. Again, it’s not. Instead, start with creating a shared/basic understanding of what’s expected. Stop rolling your eyes at what folks don’t know and start rolling up your sleeves to teach it. Because frankly, some folks just don’t know.

And here’s another truth I’ve learned: sometimes, we have to unlearn what we thought was common sense. Just because it worked in the past, in another generation, doesn’t mean it works now. Every generation sees “obvious” differently. Wisdom means knowing when to hold on and when it’s time to evolve from your old ways of thinking. It’s always a balancing act. So, the next time you may think about or utter those words or someone says, “That’s just common sense,” take a moment. Ask yourself - common to who? 

And some final thoughts from this Big Mama.

Don’t get too high, caught up, or “uppity” on your book smarts that you forget to cultivate and use common sense. Don’t get so comfortable in what you think you know that you stop listening and learning. And don’t lead with the assumption that everybody should be or is working from the same script. Use your discernment, share your wisdom, and don’t be afraid to teach what seems “obvious.” And if you gain anything, it’s another life lesson - in patience!

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“Whatever you choose to do, leave tracks. That means don’t do it just for yourself. You will want to leave the world a little better for your having lived....”

-    Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933 - 2020)