Confessions from a Boomer Parent: Navigating Our Leadership Lessons
- Pat Kelsaw
- Mar 25, 2024
- 8 min read
I need to deal with the number 70. I am turning 70.
Thankfully, I got some insight from a dear high school
classmate who turned 70 in January. What I learned from
our chat is that it's a head thing, a heightened awareness and attitude. As we laughed about our unbelievable journeys to this milestone, she assured me that this feeling will soon subside once that date. passes It's so easy to get lost in the feeling that I'm done. What’s next? Baby Boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, are often depicted as a generation of trailblazers and change-makers. Boomers worked hard to be successful, and many want to remain in the workforce. Some won’t go quietly into retirement, although some should strongly consider how to make the transition. It’s similar to the on-going conversations that I had with my kids when they were teenagers (and myself) as far as their plans to transition out of my house! What are you planning to do next?
Here’s a quote from Richard Quinn on the cycle of life: “Before graduating school
or college, we look forward to a career. During our career, we look forward to
retirement. Once retired, we look forward to waking up.” It made me recall these
words of wisdom, “just keep on living” like my mom used to say!
As a Boomer parent and grandparent, Lead Like Big Mama gives me a unique
opportunity to live and offer this work through my own intergenerational lens. Much more
on that topic to come…believe me! As the old saying and an Aaliyah hit song goes, ‘age
ain’t nothing but a number’ but turning 70 this year seems like such a BIG number. For
instance, in 2034, a mere ten years, turning 80. What I have found is that physical and
mental limitations start to show themselves more, starting around 50, as one crosses
these milestones, you get the AARP card. For those yet to receive their AARP invitation,
and for those who are now considered “wise” adults, Keep reading to discover "Big
Mama’s Lessons: 10 Things Wise Adults Know They Are Too Old to Deal With – in
three words."
As parents, Boomers instilled values of hard work, resilience, and ambition in their
children, shaping many future leaders. My adult children, a Millennial and a Gen Xer
reflect the generational composition of the nonprofit leaders I work with. They are
good people, shaping their own leadership styles, and are responsible for raising two
more generations of future leaders: Gen. Z and Generation Alpha. Technology allows
me to be part of their lives. I am grateful that I am still comfortable with technology.
Our contacts are usually via FaceTime or Zoom, texts, or audio calls and occasional
travel for in-person visits. I can virtually attend a host of celebrations and other
milestone events. And a note to my fellow Boomers, when you’re deciding on team
Android or iPhone, it helps to know the operating system that most of your group
uses, you could have built-in/on demand tech support!
The legacy of Boomer parenting traits & styles in teaching the principles of
leadership to their offspring, includes both successes and areas where we fell short.
Let’s start with some successes:
1. Lead by Example: Boomers often led by example, demonstrating the value of hard
work and determination. Many Boomers worked long hours, some out of necessity,
others out of their thirst for success, to provide for their families, showing their
children the importance of dedication and perseverance in achieving goals.
2. Encouraged Independence: Boomer parents encouraged/demanded/required
independence in their children; fostering leadership skills through opportunities for
autonomy and decision-making. They believed in the importance of self-reliance and
encouraged their children to take initiative in various aspects of their lives. Many
children of the Boomer generation were known as “latch key” kids.
3. Emphasized Education: Education was highly valued by Boomer parents, who saw
it as a pathway to success, like it was for many of them. They often encouraged their
children to pursue higher education and provided support to help them excel
academically, instilling a strong work ethic and a thirst for knowledge.
4. Community Engagement: Many Boomers were actively involved in their
communities, volunteering and participating in civic organizations. They instilled a
sense of social responsibility in their children, teaching them the importance of giving
back and making a positive impact on the world.
Some areas where I believe Boomers fell short:
1. Overemphasis on Achievement: While Boomers encouraged their children to excel,
some may have placed too much emphasis on external measures of success, such as
grades, awards, extracurricular activities, and material possessions. This focus on
achievement could sometimes overshadow the development of qualities like
empathy, integrity, and collaboration—essential aspects of effective leadership.
2. Resistance to Change: Boomers grew up in a different era, shaped by distinct social,
cultural, and economic contexts i.e. Vietnam War, civil rights, credit cards, etc. As a
result, some Boomers have struggled to adapt to the rapidly changing times, including
advancements in technology, globalization, and shifting societal norms. This resistance
to change (like their resistance to leave the workplace) could hinder their ability to
impart relevant leadership skills to their children.
3. Communication Challenges: Like any generation gap, communication barriers have
existed between Boomers and their children. Differences in communication,
particularly with the advent of social media, diverse styles, values, and priorities could
sometimes lead to misunderstandings and hinder effective transmission of leadership
principles from one generation to the next.
4. Work-Life Balance: Boomers, known for their strong work ethic, may have
struggled to strike a healthy work-life balance. Some may have inadvertently modeled
a relentless pursuit of career success at the expense of other aspects of life, potentially
neglecting opportunities to teach their children the importance of self-care,
relationships, and holistic well-being. There’s a difference between raising a child
(teaching, guiding, supporting, directing) versus a child just growing up.
While the Boomer generation imparted valuable lessons in resilience, independence,
and community engagement, they also faced challenges such as overemphasis on
achievement, resistance to change, communication barriers, and work-life balance
issues. As we reflect on their impact, we can glean valuable insights into effective
intergenerational parenting and leadership development - recognizing the need for
ongoing dialogue and adaptation across generations.
Thanks for reading!
Get Your Bonus Resource: Big Mama’s Lessons: Ten Things Wise Adults Know That
They’re Too Old to Deal With!
Join me at Big Mama’s Table:
“Diversify Your Fundraising Toolbox”
Date: Saturday, April 20, 2024
Time: 1:00 - 2:00 (ET)
Location: Virtual and FREE!
From Big Mama’s Playbook:
Weekly nonprofit management strategies, grant writing resources, and more!
Grant News: Starting next week, I will highlight a series of blog posts, grant resources, and
tools that I have used on my journey to become a successful grant writer, teaching others about the techniques and style of writing proposals. And learn how I supplemented my income as a grant writer and certified grant reviewer!
Grant Tip: Diversify your revenue streams to mitigate risk, by pursuing multiple streams of
funding. Sources include grants, individual donations (cash, goods, or services), partnerships,
corporate sponsorships, and earned income opportunities. Hear more at my “Diversify Your Fundraising Toolbox” it's a free webinar!
Are you new to fundraising and grant writing?
My free 1-hour webinar:
Diversify Your Fundraising Toolbox offers a basic introduction to fundraising designed for non-profit staff and board members, especially those new to fundraising, who want to learn about and develop a clear strategy to diversify funding streams your organization’s needs.
Date: Saturday, April 20th - 1:00 – 2:00 EST Registration opens next week!
Featured Grant Opportunities: This listing primarily focuses on regions of the country and targets communities: urban/suburban/rural where I have lived or worked, or other places that touch my life Regional and state-specific grants, national and Federal grant opportunities related to the health and well-being of communities and families will also be included in this listing.
This week’s grants:
Children/Youth:
The Women’s Sports Foundation: Sports 4 Life program seeks to increase the participation
and retention of girls of color in sports. Grant awards up to $10,000
Deadline for Letters of Intent (LOI) April 5th
For complete program guidelines and application instructions visit:
The Karma for Cara Foundation invites applications for its micro-grant program. Grants of up to $1,000 to students 18 years of age and under to complete service projects in their communities.
Deadline: April 1 at 11:59 (EST) next quarterly grant cycle
For complete program guidelines and application instructions, see the website.
Community:
(new) Seattle Foundation invites applications for its Neighbor to Neighbor Fund (N2N). Funding supports grassroots efforts in South Seattle, White Center, and Kent that increase the engagement, power, and influence of community members affected by poverty and racial disparities. Grants up to $7,500.
For complete program guidelines and application instructions, follow the link:
Education:
San Diego Community Foundation seeks applications from community-based organizations that provide college success programming to one or more of the identified priority student
populations to join the Community Scholars Initiative (CSI) as partners. Each partner will be part of the CSI cohort and will receive a four-year conditional funding commitment from San Diego Foundation. Grant awards up to $150,000+ over four years.
Next Deadline: April 18th at 3:00 PM (PST) NOTE: There are four funding cycles in 2024
For complete program guidelines and application instructions, follow the link:
Health/Safety/Environment:
The Duke Energy Foundation will provide $500,000 in grant awards through the South Carolina Emergency Preparedness and Storm Resiliency Grants to invest in emergency preparedness organizations across South Carolina. The aim is to increase organizations’ resiliency to major weather events through advanced preparation, planning, equipment, and training. Grand awards up to $20,000
Deadline: April 12, 2024
For complete program guidelines and application instructions visit:
San Diego Foundation (SDF) and San Diego Community Power (SDCP) with support from
Calpine Energy Solutions, will award funding to new and existing projects that move
communities towards a healthier, more sustainable, clean energy future. grant sizes ranging
from $25,000 to $100,000.
Deadline: Friday, April 5, 2024, by 5:00 p.m. PDT
For complete program information, see grant guidelines.
Firehouse Subs Public Safety Foundation seeks to impact the lifesaving capabilities and the
lives of local heroes and their communities by providing lifesaving equipment and prevention education tools to first responders, nonprofits, and public safety organizations - grants generally between $15,000 - $35,000.
Next quarterly grant cycle opens April 4, 2024
For complete program guidelines and application instructions, see the website.
Racial/Economic/Environmental Justice:
(new) The Nathan Cummings Foundation is a multigenerational family foundation, rooted in the Jewish tradition of social justice, working to help create a more just, vibrant, sustainable, and democratic society. The foundation has an approximately $17 million grantmaking budget for 2024 and seeks applications for funding in three categories: Venture, Advancement and Enterprise. Grant awards from $100,000 up to $250,000.
Deadline: April 30, 2024
For complete program guidelines and application instructions, see the website.
Featured Career Opportunities:
National Asian Pacific American Women's – Development Associate (Remote)
Master of Social Work Fulltime Faculty (Remote)
Visit: UMass Global MSW position
Wingate University, Adjunct Teaching Positions (multiple/remote)
Weekly wisdom, in their own words:
“Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.”
— Marian Wright Edelman (1939 -)
Did you know? Marian Wright Edelman is a civil rights attorney and children’s advocate who
founded the Children’s Defense Fund in 1973. This trailblazer was the first Black female lawyer in Mississippi. She hails from the town of Bennettsville, South Carolina.
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